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  • Writer's pictureLannie Neely III

Spots

The first Spot was in southeast Africa, near Karanga. The young boy wasn’t African. He had come to Africa with his missionary parents six months earlier. No thought was given.

The second Spot was recorded in London, England, during a routine physical examination. The man, Harold Wellford, was seventy-seven. He would go down in history as the first carrier of the Spot, despite later evidence otherwise.

The media took notice of the Spots fairly quickly. No one could pinpoint their origin, or what they meant. Of the first thirty cases, only three of them had the Spot on the same area of their skin. Some Spots were darker than others. Some were lighter.

Friends and family avoided their loved ones, afraid of catching the Spot, though there was no evidence that they were harmful or contagious. 

The media hinted that the Spot was a sign of the occult. Mid-Western American clergyman proclaimed them the mark of the beast. Europe was under the impression that the American or Russian government had created the Spot as a weapon. Conspiracy theorists ran entire internet sites (SPOTS AND EXTRATERRESTRIALS!!!) although none of them could agree whether the Spots came from another world or were signs of extraterrestrial life. Modern Zoophilia by Jeremiah Hamilton touched heavily on the idea of Spots. An article in the Wall Street Journal talked about how certain medical corporations would have a lot to gain by releasing the cure. 

More people got Spots.

A person with a Spot never got more than one Spot. This prematurely squashed outrageous names, such as Cheetah Syndrome, Giraffe Disease, and the Moo Flu.

Over the first year, the number of inflicted rose from less than one hundred to over three thousand. Colors of Spots varied more with each case. Some were dark, like birthmarks, while others were blue or red or green. When Felicia Mariposa of Nicaragua revealed her Spot to a local newspaper—one on her upper thigh that was bright, neon pink—a fad broke loose.

In Japan, the fad hit the hardest. Go-Kanco Inc. sold thousands of Bonding Spots that would stick to the skin with a mild adhesive and fade after a week of showering. Japanese high school students would spend their allowance on tattoos of the perfect circles—solids or stripes or popular icons and brand names.

Some people couldn’t tell the difference between those with tattooed Spots and those with real Spots. People with both a real Spot and a fake Spot were called Not-Spotters, and generally considered idiotic.

After a few years of testing, Doctors around the world agreed that the Spots were harmless. No test had proven otherwise. There were no Spot-related fatalities.

Churches grew angrier. People began to panic. Large communities were formed that forbade Spotted people from entering. People that grew Spots within these communities were either exiled or murdered, depending on the weather.

The Spot on the average man was 20% larger than the Spot on the average woman, whereas a woman was more likely to have a Spot on her butt or legs—except for women from the Middle East. The largest recorded Spot was three inches in diameter on the leg of Mark “Spotten” Naughton from Ontario, Canada.

Children were never born with Spots.

The Society for Prevention Against Taint, know simply as SPAT, determined that Spots were contagious. The source: physical human interaction. SPAT never revealed its monetary representatives.

When SPAT spotted the Spot’s cause, the United States of America was the first to take action. Federal law stated that all government workers were required to wear gloves and goggles. All social workers were required to wear gloves and goggles. All personnel in professions of education were required to wear gloves and goggles. Farmers were required to wear gloves during the summer months and holidays. 

California increased health benefits for people with Spots. Arkansas reduced them. China, who had the most Spots by 2013, ignored the Spots altogether, as if they had been there for generations.

People without Spots were soon outnumbered. College students would go to parties to mingle with Spotted people, hoping the Spots would rub off on them. Having a Spot was a prerequisite for some Greek Fraternities. It became trendy to have Spots among the hipsters and punks. Vegans and new-age spiritualists all agreed that Spots were natural. 

The sexually active Spotted condemned the sexually inactive Spotted. They claimed orgies to be the quickest way to spread the Spot. Some professed it increased their Spot’s size. The sexually inactive Spotted agreed with the sexually active Spotted’s claims, but were “Unwilling to Spread the Plague,” as one internet blogger put it.

Spotology was invented, veiled in an air of secrets thicker than Astrology. Spots could determine a person’s personality, guide love lives, and even predict the future.

Conservative celebrities paid millions to have their Spots removed. Non-disclosure contracts were signed by friends and families—even mothers. Especially mothers.

By 2016, society had grown used to the Spots and the Spotted. SPAT had risen to a government funded society.

By 2020, ninety-eight percent of the world’s adult population had Spots. They became a part of everyday life. Some groups still protested them. Other groups still protested protesting them. Some people enjoyed them, flaunted them. Others considered them precious, personal things that only loved ones should see. SPAT was disbanded—a waste of taxpayer dollars.

On March 12th, 2021, the first checker was spotted.




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